Method 2: Being Confident
1. Take good care of your family. Be reliable and keep a good job so other people will be able to count on you. Make yourself available and be a good role model for the other members of your family. Teach them what you know and learn as much as you can about them. Be there to celebrate their wins and help them get back on their feet when they fall.
If you're not in a bread-winning role, you can still take care of your family. Do chores reliably, watch over and guide any children, support people when they are struggling, and take your education seriously if you are in school.
Build up your family instead of tearing them down. You want to be their rock and their supporter, so that someday when they succeed, you'll be high on the list of their people to thank.
If you take good care of your family, they'll want to take care of you sometimes, too. Don't push them away when this happens. Instead, show them gratitude and let them feel good about helping you. They'll know you'll be there for them next time they need you.
Sometimes, what gets called "macho" is really just a person compensating for a lack of confidence in themselves and their ability to care for those around them. People who can't keep their own household together have to lash out at other people, brag to everyone around them about how great they are, to keep up the status quo. If you really do provide for your family, keep a good job, and make your partner happy, there's no need to compensate with fake machismo.
2. Use confident body language. Work on a calm, confident presence. Sit up straight, walk with good posture, and look people in the eye directly. Speak clearly and with conviction that the things you say are trustworthy, correct, and worth listening to.
A macho person lets their presence be known physically and vocally, but without trying actively to intimidate others. There's a difference between being macho and being a jerk. Don't insult people to tear them down and hold yourself up. If you like to get into trash-talk sessions with your friends, draw the line somewhere.
If you can't make eye contact, you can look at people's noses or eyebrows. Most people can't tell the difference.
3. Say what you mean and mean what you say. A macho person stands up for what is right and speaks from an intelligent and informed point of view. Don't be afraid to speak your mind honestly and clearly. If you disagree with someone, let your disagreement be known respectfully, even if it would be easier to let it slide.
4. Lose graciously. Have the confidence to let failures and losses roll off your back. Learn to lose calmly and move on. A macho person can lose graciously, win with humility, and learn from their mistakes, rather than letting failures turn them into a defensive jerk.
It's also important to learn when you're wrong and admit it. If you're having an argument and start changing your mind, or if your decision turns out to be the wrong one, say so. Own up to it.
5. Take care of your body and don't take unnecessary risks. Many macho people will take risks, but they're calculated risks. The last thing you want to do is spend a week in the hospital because you decided to show off for your buddies with some foolish stunt. Instead, think through the possible consequences and decide whether it's worth it.
Always wear the appropriate protective gear. Wear a helmet on your bike and use goggles when dealing with things that can go flying. Remember, a helmet is more masculine than a preventable hospital trip.
Get regular doctor check-ups and see a doctor if something feels wrong. This way, you'll fix small problems before they become big problems.
6. Let people come to you. Macho people will often cultivate a mysterious presence that acts like a magnet for people, especially romantic partners. If people think you're a person with secrets, a person who has something to say, they'll gravitate toward you and become interested. It's part charisma, part masculinity, and part restraint.
Be quiet. Be a good listener, and don't speak unless it's absolutely necessary. It's hard to be macho when your mouth never stops moving.
Be serious. Mysterious macho people aren't usually goofballs. Think of the grave seriousness of veterans and old sea captains.
Be sensual (if that's your thing). Understand the loving arts of massage and pleasure. Learn about how to please your partner, both emotionally and physically.
In this part, I talked about how to be confident. Read to the end.
Artemus Vazhui