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Method 3: Avoiding Stereotypes
1. Be courteous and respectful to women. If one thing gives macho guys a bad name, it's that they treat women poorly, talking down to them, objectifying them, and being rude in general. A macho person treats all the women in their life respectfully. Learn to talk to women one-on-one, calmly, and with courtesy.
No means no. Not every woman is going to talk to you or date you, and it doesn't usually mean something is wrong with you. She might be taken, too busy, working through some personal stuff, asexual, or LGBTQ, or just not in the mood. Say "That's all right. Have a good day" and move on.
You don't have to put on a big show to attract people. It's a turn-off and shows that you're just putting on an act. Never catcall or use pick-up lines to talk to women. This can be creepy and unattractive.
2. Respect LGBTQ+ people. An insecure "macho" people might feel like he has to go over the top to prove that he is straight and cisgender. The truth is that none of these things is better or worse than the others. Never assert your masculinity by putting down LGBTQ people. A healthy man recognizes that these people deserve just as much respect as anyone else.
You can be gay, bi, asexual, trans, or otherwise LGBTQ+ and also be macho.
Don't use slurs against LGBTQ folks or phrases such as "that's so gay". These are very hurtful and pathetic when there are so many other words you could use besides "gay".
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3. Protect people who need protecting. As a secure, macho person, you should be helping people, not harming them. People should be able to trust that they're safe around you and that you'll do what you reasonably can to keep them from harm.
If a victim or survivor comes to you for help, take their story seriously and comfort them. Ask them what would help make things better.
Practice phrases like "Not cool," or "Seriously?" to say if someone else is being disparaging or acting like a bully. If they backpedal and say, "It was just a joke," reply with, "It wasn't a funny one."
Know that you can't always fix things or save everyone, but you can usually improve the situation. Sometimes that's just listening or staying with the person while they face their demons. That can mean more than you realize.
Don't overreact to a tense situation or make a scene when it's not needed. Keep your cool and de-escalate instead of escalating. Keep your voice low unless absolutely necessary. Never throw a punch unless someone is an immediate physical danger to others.
4. Eat vegetables and have a well-rounded diet. Some masculine people think it's "cool" to only eat meat, and develop a dislike of green vegetables and other foods because they think it's non-masculine. Unfortunately for them, a diet that consists mostly of red meat and avoids green vegetables leads to things like prostate, stomach, and bowel cancer. Eating healthy will prevent you from getting cancers and harmful illnesses in the future.
5. Drink responsibly if you decide to drink. Being able to "hold your liquor" isn't a sign of masculinity; it's a sign of alcohol abuse. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a couple of drinks among friends if you're old enough to drink, but you need to know your limits and avoid pushing them as a way of showing off to your friends. It can lead to serious problems.
Never let yourself get blackout drunk. It's always better to stay in control for the safety of yourself and others.
This also goes for other self-destructive vices, like smoking and using other drugs. Abusing substances is a sign of insecurity, not a sign of masculinity.
6. Drive safely. There's nothing macho about speeding, cutting people off, or revving your engine at stoplights. If you're a real man, you don't need to overcompensate by showing off in a big car.
If you want to be a person who takes care of their family, that means coming home safe to them. Be a defensive driver. Put your phone away or give it to the person in the passenger seat.
If you've got a cool ride that you're really proud of, show it off to your friends in your driveway, or on the open road, but don't show it off in the middle of traffic. Strangers on their morning commute don't care about your horsepower, and it won't make you look more masculine to peel out from stoplights in front of them.
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7. If you choose to have sex, use protection and be responsible. A macho person doesn't need to be promiscuous to prove how "good" they are in bed. Practice safe sex and move at your own speed. Ignore people who brag about sexual prowess. They're probably just watching too much porn and making stuff up anyway.
Check in with your partner to make sure they're into it. If they're hesitant or they say no, back off. It's not sexy if someone is uncomfortable. Communicate, don't push, and be willing to slow down or stop.
You don't need to have sex in order to be masculine. It's okay if you want to wait or if you aren't always in the mood. Remember, "no means no" applies to men, too. Nobody should ever be ashamed of not wanting or having sex.
8. Be a team player when you need to. While some macho people are loners, even the most introverted macho person should be willing to work with others when they need to. Doing everything yourself isn't always practical.
Look out for your people and help them when they need you.
Help others become more self-reliant and teach them what you know.
9. Ask for help when you need it. This is maybe the oldest macho stereotype: Being unwilling to pull over and ask for directions. Sure, it can be embarrassing to admit that you're wrong, or to admit that you need help with something, but it's worse to get in over your head and make the situation worse. A macho person wants to do something right first and foremost, not do it shoddily by going it alone. You can't do everything solo. Ask for help.
Being secure in your masculinity means being willing to admit that you aren't perfect.
In this third "how to be a macho" method, I explained how to avoid stereotypes. I hope it helps everyone approach things more clearly and confidently.
Artemus Vazhui